Oblivious, Cuz Delinquents Can't Get 5 From 2 Plus 2
by For Whimsy Alone
Summary: Kanzaki-Hanazawa. So he named her Paa-ko, that crazy Paa-ko who had no concept of personal space or when to shut-up. He should have know that giving her a nickname was only the beginning...
1. Spying Together

I think they go together really well and anyone who is caught up with the manga would probably agree. Starts at episode 41.

I do not own Beelzebub.

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><p>Plain Text<br>_Thoughts_

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><p>The night air was cool, comforting even, despite the fight that just took place moments ago.<p>

However, Hajime Kanzaki was confused. First about these creepy bastards (_where the hell were they from?_) and second about this girl, this chatty, strange girl, who had the nerve to call him hyena-sempai. _Who did she think she was? _Her peculiar theories about love triangles and craziness-she baffled him greatly._ Talking to me like I care..._

The young man looked over to the crates he had just emerged from. Those kids fled (like he knew they would) and now everyone was leaving. He sighed and turned to grab his yogurty, before heading home. The group slowly dispersed, each going their separate ways with Nanami supporting Izuma. Yuka had already grabbed both bags of groceries, smiling as she handed him his. _Just why was she being so damn nice to me? Red Tails hate men…_

Kanzaki took the bag from her hand and made his way home, but soon noticed a small figure walking right alongside him. One blonde eyebrow raised in response.

"Oi, what are you doing Paa-ko?" he asked, puzzled by her actions.

She cocked her head to the side and pouted. "This is the way to my house, Kanzaki-sempai. And what's with the Paa-ko?" she questioned, slightly annoyed.

"Che, I ain't never seen you go this way before," he gruffly replied.

Yuka paused and put her finger to her chin. "Well after school I usually go with Nene and the others to Madame Aoi's house."

He nodded and continued sipping his yogurt. Looking to the side, he took in her appearance._ She's a lot cuter when she's not surrounded by those_ _man hating hags_…he nearly spit into his yogurt. His brain must be dying...

They continued in peaceful silence for several minutes, until a fork in the road appeared.

Unbeknownst to him, his companion stopped. "Well bye, Kanzaki-sempai, this is my street," she said, waving and veering to the left. He dumbly raised his hand and continued onward for another half a block to his house.

Luckily it was a Thursday, so there were no special visitors right now. Good because all he wanted do was go home, eat his yogurt, and relax. Making it to his room without any disturbance, he crashed on his bed.

He was glad to be alone now, he thought, grabbing one of his yogurts to drink. He needed the quiet time to think. Now this thinking crap never happened often but when it did, Kanzkai needed all his mental facilities to sort through all the confusing details.

_That Paa-ko_…jumping on him like that. When he fought there was punching, kicking, and the occasional choke hold. Sometimes one guy would restrain a guy's arms behind his head, while someone else punched, but definitely no full body snake-like wrap arounds, like Paa-ko did.

_She was in a skirt! Stupid Paa-ko_._ How am I supposed to think when she did that?_! _That's the only reason she managed to get me into that headlock! Damn woman…_

His head got cloudy when she did that. Fighting a woman was different from fighting a man and on top of which, he usually kept opponents from getting too close with his kicking. Paa-ko however, was able to get full body contact…

Kanzaki shook his head and slapped his face to get rid of the thought. _Crazy bitch probably didn't realize what she was doing. Che whatever, it was Kanzaki time-videogames and yogurt!_

For the next several hours his mind was preoccupied with shooting enemies and destroying bases.

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><p>Yuka got home and put up the groceries her mother asked her to get. <em>Kanzaki-sempai was so cool, getting rid of those creeps. What kind of bastard interrupts a perfectly good love-triangle fight! But it looks like prez-san won 'cuz she went with him. Poor Toujou-sempai! <em>she thought sadly, letting her imagination get the better of her.

_It's so romantic, being fought over like that, all crazy and stuff. I wonder if I'll ever be fought over? Not that I want to be fought over—no, nuh-uh! No never! _

Yuka shook her head rapidly from side to side and gave a small giggle to eliminate the disturbing thought. No men was the cardinal rule of the Red Tails.

Giving a firm nod to resolve the thought in my mind and walking upstairs to her room, Yuka laid down, intent on getting a good night's sleep.

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><p>Short but hopefully updates soon. Kanzaki-Hanazawa is so cute. Review please.<p> 


	2. Thinking is Dangerous When Unexperienced

So I'm watching the anime and every time Kanzaki says Paa-ko the sub writes crazy bitch. Whether is means this or not, I'm using it, mainly for my own amusement.

I do not own Beelzebub.

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><p>Many thanks to Kafka Tamura, kichette, and c0rndogz for their reviews. And to Atropos' Knife for pointing out my spelling errors. Hanazaki needs more love!<p>

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><p>Plain Text<br>_Thoughts_

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><p>Till the wee-hours of the morning, Kanzaki battled with some unknown gamer. <em>Stupid bastard, he destoryed my base! Now where is that asshole hiding?<em>

He scratched his head to promote thinking, a super-fire delinquent trick in tackling hard problems. But as he did, he smelled flowers.

_Why the hell does my hand smell like flowers? _

_...Flowers…_

_...Hana…_

_... ... ..._

_...Hanazawa! _

He thought, slowly connecting the pieces. _Must have been when we fought… Kinda girly for a Red Tail._

He snorted. _Why would I think about Paa-ko? Pfft, whatever, time to destroy Master-Maid#1. _

After an excruciatingly long battle, which ended with a loss, making him grumble, the dirty blonde haired delinquent went to bed, but found that he could not sleep. It seemed even super special Kanzaki time could not get rid of these nagging thoughts about Paa-ko…

Quietly he thought about what happened. He had sensed the onset of a fight and upon investigation discovered it to be that four-eyed pres and Toujou. And who in their right minds passes up a good fight?

Slipping behind some wood planks to discretely watch the fight, the blonde discovered another spectator. Looking to his right he was confronted with Paa-ko, the crazy bitch, who was a bit too close for comfort…

So he did was he always did when he was at a loss at what to do-he kicked. Probably not the smartest idea, but since when were delinquents smart? After her initial displeasure and calling him rude for kicking a lady, _pfft, she's not a lady_, she started telling him her stupid theory on love triangles, which he ignored in favor of asking who she thought would win. But then she invaded his personal space talking about craziness or something, which he didn't understand, so he pushed her head down and away from himself, calling her a crazy bitch.

That pissed her off and a little scuffle erupted. She was stronger than she looked…

The fight was good until those freaks showed up and she stopped him from immediately letting his presence be known by grabbing his arm and putting him into a body bind choke hold, with her leg wrapped around his waist. Her skirt wearing leg…

After that his mind became fuzzy for a few minutes. When he finally snapped out of it, he kicked her in the head for putting him in a headlock after taking advantage of his brain turning off at a very inopportune time. _Because there was no way she strong enough to put me, Hajime Kanzaki in a headlock!_ He thought, clenching his fists.

A little later, he scared off those trench coat guys, who were all talk, causing her to cheer. He liked the praise, it was well deserved, but she called him a hyena! _Do I look like a hyena?! Dumb bitch…_

Pushing those thought out of his mind, as he decided Paa-ko was just crazy and super weird, he finally fell asleep.

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><p>Yuka had strange dreams of Madame Aoi being fought over by Oga and a faceless man. But then midway through the fight, just when it was getting good, Oga transformed into some obscured man and she took Aoi's place…<p>

Jolting awake, she blushed heavily and wondered who her faceless fighter was. "I need to stop watching daytime soap operas…" she muttered, getting up and ready for school.

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><p>The next day at school, Yuka was retelling Kanzaki's heroic exploits to Himekawa, who poignantly refused to believe her. <em>Stupid swirly-top.<em>

"Enough with that Hanazawa," the blonde said, entering the classroom. "It's not good to talk about it too much. The truly strong need few words," he said, trying to be cool.

"Whoa so cool! Awesome!" she squealed, in a very girly-manner, cheesy sparkles surrounding her hero. Luckily everyone seemed to ignore the two.

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><p>Later on, when the girls gathered at lunch, she thought about what she had done…<em>Cheering for that hyena like a fangirl-baka Yuka! <em>She hit herself over the head.

_He probably thinks you're crazy…that's why he calls you crazy bitch. And, _she audibly gasped_, what if Nee-san or the others notice? _Hesitantly she turned her head to them, her eye twitching, but they were busy discussing Madame Aoi and Oga. _Thank-you kami-sama! _She breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yuka, why did you gasp?" Chiaki asked.

"Oh, well Oga and Madame Aoi are both gone so I was putting them into the place of my favorite soap opera characters who run away on a lovers cruise together only to get stopped by the angry Hilda, the jealous wife," she said seriously. _Please buy it…_

"OGA BETTER NOT LAY A FINGER ON HER!"

Ryoko pulled Nene down, who had stood up and stomped her foot on a desk, shaking her fist violently. "You and your over-active imagination making Nee-san freak out," she replied, shaking her head.

Yuka relaxed and decided to pay attention to her friend's conversation. Letting her imagination run wild was dangerous.

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><p>Kanzaki had been in a good mood all day. Kinda annoyed no one believed Paa-ko but hell Toujou could back them up whenever he showed up.<p>

That thought aside he went to the vending machines for a snack.

Natsume suddenly appeared and waved at his friend. "So Tojo and the Class President lost?" he asked.

"Hm," Kanzaki replied, nodding, skimming the available selection.

"Why were they fighting?"

Clicking on a button, a yogurty started to tumble down. "Beats me. Crazy bitch spewed off some shit about a love triangle because that holy knight chick was there."

"Oh?" he said happily, a tone of suspicion lacing his voice. "And what were you doing there, Kanzaki-sempai?"

If Kanzaki had been a smarter man he would lied. But he wasn't, so he told his underling about the grocery store and running into Hanazawa, thinking nothing of it.

"I see. Well thanks," the other boy said, running off.

_Eh, what is he going on about? _Drinking his yogurt, he decided he didn't care.

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><p>It was nine at night when Yuka made her way home from the shrine. She made her way to the same fork in the road where she and Kanzaki parted last night. <em>So he lives down there… I wonder which house is his? I bet he like has a big house with crazy scary gang members guarding the outside just like in movies! With big barking dogs and a big fence!<em>

Her curiosity getting the better of her, she wandered down the street looking for her classmate's house but before she got far, her mind caught up with her.

_Stupid, Yuka. Why do I care where he lives? I have to get home anyway before okasan worries. _Turning back, she went home, only to get scolded by her mother for being out too late.

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><p>Fluff inspired and going along with the plot from episode 41-42. I still can't believe this is the first story about this pairing.<p> 


	3. Tease and Smell

In this chapter, I combine the story lines from the manga and anime. Luckily they only differ slightly.

I do not own Beelzebub.

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><p>Thank-you to my reviewers, c0rndogz, Kafka Tamura, and gosakurago.<p>

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><p>Plain Text<br>_Thoughts_

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><p>The next few days passed without any incident until Saturday, when Furuichi and Lamia went looking for En in the arcades.<p>

They ran into Kanzaki first…

The droopy eyed boy sipped from a yogurty. "Eh, a green haired kid? Yeah I notice any weirdoes who come into my castle. Come on I saw him earlier at the fighting games. He really sucks."

The two lit up and followed the blonde man to a set of arcade games.

And there was Hanazawa, cursing at the screen. "I lost again? What's with this guy? He's crazy!" she yelled, her hands clenching her hair in frustration.

The three looked over at the girl, but she only acknowledged one.

"Kanzaki sempai?" _He saw me freak out! Now I look more crazy…baka baka Yuka._

He reached over and grabbed the top of her head, easily palming it with one hand. "Why are you in my castle, crazy bitch?" he asked, grinning like the hyena he so proclaimed not to be.

"What, you a fan? A fan of mine now?" he taunted, neglecting to think about what he had said.

"No, no no…just by accident," she hastily replied, blushing, without realizing he didn't own this place and that her quick denial made her look suspicious. _I cheer for you once and now I'm a fan? Stupid Kanzaki-sempai…_

"And I ain't a crazy bitch!" she shouted back, angry briefly crossing her face.

After that they talked about finding that green haired kid and she got off track talking about aliens…

Shortly thereafter, Himekawa appeared and the day progressed with all of them trying to find this kid.

Before long Furuichi had gathered them all and told them about the kids from Akuma high school. And just when Furuichi thought he had gone too far with his ridiculous story, the blonde spoke up, detailing his encounters with these the rival school.

"In that case, I fought with 'em too. Right Paa-ko?"

Yuka nodded, while Nene took note of this interesting tidbit.

Getting all the delinquents fired up about the honor of their school, the group decided to take on Akuma High.

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><p>Later that night, when they all went over to Himekawa's gigantic condo to play videogames in an effort to find this kid.<p>

Chiaki found him on Streaking fighter 4 and was challenged to rematch after rematch.

Straggling away from everyone else, _they were annoying little shits_, Kanzaki pondering on today. Looking back and forth in the abandoned hallway to make sure he was alone, he sniffed his hand. _Flowers again. Girly ass Paa-ko._ _Must be her shampoo…_

And then slowly his brain caught up with his actions. He had snuck away to sniff his hand, the hand that smelled of Paa-ko._ Che, I-I didn't grab that crazy bitch just to smell her. That's something weirdo baka Furuichi would do. Not someone like me, the great Kanzaki! I just had to… to scratch my nose! And stupid Paa-ko for making me smell like flowers! _He defended to himself.

Leaning against the wall, he thought about finding her in the arcade. She was pissed off that she lost-it was fun to watch her explode over something so small. He would never act in such a petty fashion…

He had taunted her, calling her his fan. Flustered Hanazawa was very entertaining. She blushed and she stuttered …the young man's throat suddenly felt dry. He shook his head and decided to get a yogurt from a vending machine downstairs. He was thirsty, that's all. All he needed was a yogurt. Not blushing, stuttering Paa-ko…

After polishing off three yogurts in record time, making the people in the lobby gawk at him like he was crazy, Kanzaki sighed and headed back to the game room. That stupid kid had beaten Chiaki like 50 times now.

The brat eventually challenged them to a battle royal tomorrow at three, all nine of them versus him and his team. Everyone headed off to bed, the girls going a floor down and the boys staying in the gaming area.

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><p>When it was time for bed, Nene made her move. "Yuka, how did you know about the rival school kids and their fight with Toujou?"<p>

Yuka put down the pillow she was fluffing and answered. "Well I walking home from the supermarket and I saw him and four-eyed prez fighting so I decided to watch. They were totally having a love triangle over that the girl from the six holy knights."

"And Kanzaki? Why was he there?" she asked suspiciously.

"Kanzaki-sempai?" She asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion. _Why does Nene care about Kanzaki-sempai?_ _Does she like him? ! No, don't be silly Yuka, Nene hates all guys, _she thought, incredibly relieved but not bothering to ponder as to why.

"YUKA!" the older girl yelled, snapping the younger out of her thoughts.

"Sorry. Right, right," she said waving off her friend. "He came from the supermarket too, had a whole bag full of yogurt. What kind of weirdo eats that much yogurt by the way?" she asked, getting comfy on a bed. "Anyway, he saw them fighting and watched too," she explained, going off tangent every now and again. "But then when those creeps form Akuma High came and beat up four-eyed prez and then Toujou stepped in, all mad they interrupted his fight, but he got beat up so Kanzaki yelled at them and they ran away. Well, flew away. They were really weird, ya," she prattled on.

"I see. Then what happened?"

"We went home," she said naturally.

"Nani? ! Together?" _She went home alone with that punk?!_

Confusion lined the girl's features. "Eh, why would we all go home together?" the girl asked, oblivious to Nene's meaning.

"…" Nene's eyes twitched from her own explosion. _Jumping to conclusions like that Nene. And on poor Yuka nonetheless. Idiot…_

"Are you ok Nene?"

"YES! Now go to bed!" the redhead yelled.

"Hai," Yuka and Chiaki answered, climbing into bed.

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><p>So I'm combining moments from both the manga and anime. Unfortunately I'll catch up to the manga by the next chapter so I'll have to write purely on my own without the manga as my writing skeleton. It's going to suck if more developments happen in the meantime-I'm going to skip till after the battle with Akuma and then focusing solely on Kanzaki-Hanzawa.<p> 


	4. Tactless Tangerine

I combine elements of both the anime and manga. There is a lot of filler, not that I mind, in the anime.

I do not own Beelzebub.

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><p><span>Tigger.x:<span> I will…eventually.

Matsukaze : Aren't they? :)

MonkeyxxBusiness: I am continuing…just slowly… Oh and your English is fine.

Limy: Thanks!

CrazyFool65: Thank-you.

Tenshi-chan: I am surprised by the lack of Kanzaki-hanzawa stories. Epic? Thanks.

cocopops3000: This is a really great story and I love this couple too :) can't wait to read the next chap

Zebubeel: Thanks for the review.

BessieTheNinjaCow : Thank-you.

c0rndogz: Waited way longer than a week…hehe. Hope you get inspired to write a fic for them too!

gosakurago: I look that up-thanks.

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><p>Plain Text<br>_Thoughts_

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><p>The following day, the group of delinquents prepared for their battle with Akuma High. Unfortunately most of them had never played a net game.<p>

Thus, even designing their avatars was an ordeal…

A pale fist clenched in agitation. "It's a yogurty! What's wrong with it?"

Heads only shook in the poor blonde's direction. "Keh," he snorted, fed up by their attitudes.

It wound up taking over an hour to make everyone a presentable character, which left little time for game control explanation and strategy devising.

The game itself thus went from bad to worse very quickly. Their impromptu strategy session was for naught. Nene and Shiroyama didn't know the controls, the enemy was cheating, and Paa-ko…was well Paa-ko. _Crazy ass bitch. She's gets a Crazy Frog robot and then wastes it being stupid._

But thanks to Himekawa they were able to enter cheat codes as well. _Those zombies were the shit! _He and Paa-ko rampaged, chasing after that stupid green kid while the others piloted Max.

In the end they finally won, but that damn brat kept making them play more games. He would not accept his loss.

_Che, never thought I'd be sick of playing video games_. "This is ridiculous! I quit this shit!" Kanzaki thought, sprawling out on the floor, not realizing he said the last part out loud.

And all was thought to be lost until Furuichi had a good idea. "Lamia, if you're on good terms, why don't you try calling him?"

Sitting up and reviving from his zombie like state, the blonde delinquent began fleshing out his message to the annoying prince, which was incredibly cutesy, laden with hearts. And the idiot bit. Hook, line, and sinker. Until that idiot Furuichi stepped in and messed the whole thing up…

But luck had a habit of just magically working out as Himekawa managed to find out where the students from Akuma High were. Those bastards were right next door according to their IP address! But, when they entered, the room was vacant.

After that, he had no clue what happened. The house just caved in and Creepichi was on top of the pink haired-brat….

A short time later, the group of delinquents dispersed. Once again, Kanzaki found himself walking alongside Paa-ko, as they went home. It was peaceful, in the cool night air. Well it was... Until Paa-ko started talking.

"Ne Kanzaki-sempai, don't you think lots of weird stuff keeps happening to us? I mean, Himekawa's house blew up," she said loudly, waving her hands up to demonstrate the blast while making sound effects.

Taking a side glance at her, he replied, "Probably a cheap building. Could have been a gas leak or something…" he thought trailing off. _Che, and where did Oga come from? All of a sudden there the bastard was with his wifey and brat…_

"Yeah," she replied, albeit doubtfully. _Something creepy crazy is going on, ya…._

It was quiet after that-for a total of two minutes, until the redhead began humming the tune to Gohan-kun. Subconsciously, her fellow delinquent chimed in.

She smiled. "Oh you like that show too Kanzaki-sempai?" she beamed.

"Che, the tune is catchy," he defended, not wanting anyone to know that at his age he still watched Gohan-kun.*

Oblivious to his discomfort, the tangerine haired girl went on. "Did you catch last week's episode where Gohan-kun defeated Captain Poo on top of the train? It was crazy good, man," she replied, leaning in far too close for comfort, her expression one of pure excitement.

A light pink hue dusted his cheeks as he noticed her proximity, her side next to his shoulder.

To remedy this, he grabbed her by the head again and pushed her away. "Eh, stupid girl. Who cares about that anyway?"

Yuka stumbled a bit before catching her balance. "You were singing with me! That means you watch Gohan-kun too! And stop grabbing my head!" she shouted, glaring at him. "You messed up my hair," she whined, trying to straighten it out.

Kanzaki shoved his hands in his pockets and scoffed. "I watched when I was little! Not now. Crazy fucking Paa-ko…" he trailed off, enjoying her outburst way more than he should. Red faced, a slight blush garnishing her face… he shook his head.

She paused in her trek and stomped her foot. "I ain't crazy. You're crazy! Getting mad over nothing…" the girl mumbled, in a pout.

"…didn't have to push me... You don't push a lady," she chastised, her lips puckering up in annoyance.

He smirked. "… Che, you ain't a lady," he teased, anticipating the angry response sure to follow with glee.

Balling her fists to her side, Yuka stomped her feet and screeched, "I am so a lady," she exclaimed.

"Che, and what makes you a lady?" he asked snidely.

Nostrils flaring and a resolute look on her face, Yuka defended herself. "I have tits," she said proudly and happily grabbing her chest. The boy's eyes went wide.

Kanzaki froze, having no clue how to answer her. The tangerine haired girl had stepped closer, fitting quite nicely, her head at about shoulder level, her hands gripping herself, and a determined look on her face, glaring up at him. Nervously, the blonde man gulped.

Snapping out it, he shouted back at her. "La-Ladies don't grab their tits, crazy bitch!" he sputtered, taking a step back.

"Eh, says who?" she asked, annoyance written all over her face.

"…" He racked his brain for an answer but with the image of Paa-ko groping herself firmly implanted in his mind, no new thoughts would form.

The sound of an impatient foot tapping against the pavement snapped him out of it. "…fine you're a lady…." He relented, having no better answer. "At least in having all the parts…" he muttered as an afterthought.

She huffed in agreement, but settled down after that. The walk continued in silence. A minute later she cheerfully waved goodbye to him, veering to the left presumably to her house. In a daze he waved back. _Goes from angry to happy in two seconds flat…fucking Paa-ko. _

Realizing he'd never understand girls much less one like Yuka, he sighed.

_She's crazy that's all there is to it…_

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><p>Did anyone else notice that the other delinquents piloted Max the Ishyama King while Paa-ko (an engineer) and Kanzaki were zombies? Well except for Nene and Shiroyama who weren't good gamers.<p>

*And for the Gohan-kun thing, well it looks like it's for small children (Captain Poo seriously?) although both Oga and Furuichi watch it. So I'm guessing the others watch it as well-same intellect level and all. Plus in a filler episode, Kanzaki voices crap-cop and seems to do fairly well...

And for the last bit, Yuka has no tact. I love her for it and I seriously debated her grabbing herself but I can picture it so easily.

On deviantart (under the same pen name For-Whimsy-Alone) I post screen shots and manga panels supporting their paring. I went looking for some but as they were so few in number, I began doing my own.


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